Clove Smoke Catharsis

Lean against the night and laugh as I try to scale the walls. Ingnored futility fills the air. You're only there to watch me fall... If only pure sweetness was offered, why's this bitter taste left in my mouth? If I could catch my breath just to exhale, I'd know that I held it in to long... From above comes a faint smile, a new vantage such a view. Familiarity know disowned. Just sit and stare as I walk away.

Personally I have never found the practice of recrational drug use appealing. In fact, I have always found the lifestyle and the people who surround it to be abhorrent. I never quite understood why anyone would risk sacrificing their bodies, minds, and relationships at the expense of a quick damaging high. I grew up in a small town and at my highschool, like every highschool, everyone's recreation of choice was drug abuse. I never understood it. I never took part and always felt quite alone in this decision. Then one day I discovered a band called Minor Threat and realized that there were more people out there who thought like me. I was very excited to say the least, and what was more encouraging, these people were part of the oh so self destructive punk scene. From that day on I claimed the X. I continue to do so today because I believe the SXE philosophy is a very positive one that many people, especially young people, can benefit from greatly if they have the desire. - Davey Havok

*=lyric #=my interpretation

*Lean against the night and laugh as I try to scale the walls #Just sit there laughing at me, as I go through my life. In your eyes I have no escape, because I refuse to take the path youíre taking, and try the things youíre trying, because I know in the end thatís not where I want to be. I know that, at least in my mind, Iím doing the right thing. But to you Iím being a dummass. (Damn, thatís reading a lot into this, isnít it?)

*Ignored futility fills the air #Okay, NOW weíre being metaphorical. The ďignored futilityĒ is the smoke. Davey is saying that he knows that the drugs are a temporary solution, though his friend doesnít. His friend ignores the fact that the drugs only last for so long, and then the world goes back to normal and the problems are still there. His friend ignores the fact that itís futile to use drugs to escape from the world. Does that make sense?

*Youíre only there to watch me fall #Like I said before, his friend thinks that in not taking the drugs Davey is taking the hard road, and it will catch up to him sooner or later. I suppose misery loves company, so the friend is watching and waiting for Davey to fall so that s/he can laugh at him. ďha-ha, I told you soĒ? At the very least this line signifies that the friendship means nothing to the friend. The friend doesnít care about Davey at all anymore, all s/he cares about is getting high and leaving reality behind. (Fuck, speaking from the point of view of someone who has never taken drugs, how the fuck do I know all this? Weeeeeeird.)

*If only pure sweetness was offered, whyís this bitter taste left in my mouth? #This can refer to one of two things: Either it can refer to the drugs themselves, as in ďIf this is supposed to solve all my problems and make everything right again, why the fuck is it that whenever I wake up everythingís the same as it always was?(I donít think that Davey ever took the drugs, but I think that if heís referring to them, heís trying to explain it to the friend. Iím not sure how to explain why itís written in the first person, but to me it seems to fit better. Idunno.) Ē; or itís referring to the friendship, as in ďIf you and I started off being such good friends, and I thought for such a long time that I cared about you and you honestly cared about me, why is it that all of a sudden I feel that youíve left me behind for something else, and Iím better off leaving you behind too?Ē

*If I could catch my breath, just to exhale, Iíd know that Iíd held it in too long. #This line never made sense to me, and I still donít think it does. It makes some vague amount of sense, but Davey goes in way too many circles here for me to keep track. Someone else figure it out, please.

*From above comes a faint smile, a new vantage such a view #I think the smile from above is Davey smiling. This is the part where his friend finally realizes their mistake. Davey feels that he is above them, because while s/he once thought that Davey would fall because Davey had no escape, s/he is now discovering that s/he is the one who is falling because s/he used the escape as a crutch, whereas Davey learned to deal with the world on his own and, while he might not be perfectly content, is certainly dealing with life in a constructive way.

*Familiarity now disowned #This, again, means one of two things, although it makes more sense with one than with the other, methinks: Either it means that the friend has decided to give up the drugs, thus leaving behind(disowning) something that has been familiar to them for a long time; or this is talking about the relationship between the friend and Davey- Davey has decided to leave the friend behind because their way of life is starting to drag him down, thus disowning someone who was once familiar to him. Perhaps itís both- Davey leaves the friend behind, and this is the wake-up call that makes the friend realize what the drugs have done to them.

*Just sit and stare as I walk away #Methinks this proves my second theory to be right: When Davey leaves the friend behind, the friend is still complacent; happily enjoying their drug-filled fantasy world, with no idea of whatís really going on. The statement is literal: They sit and stare as Davey walks away. They donít know yet why heís walking away, or where heís walking to. They donít know yet that heís not coming back. When they figure that out, hoo-boy thatíll be one hell of a slap in the face, eh?
Posted by: Outsider

i completely agree with Outsider's interpretation, but s/he didn't understand the line "if i could catch my breath, just to exhale, i'd know that i've held it in too long." Well, i think it's Davey telling his friends what to do. exhaling is getting rid of something. Davey is saying if his friend coud catch his/her breath, and exhale the drugs s/he's been using, s/he would realize how self-destructive s/he had been.
Posted by: 'Apolla'

If anyone has noticed, in the line "If I could catch my breath, just to exhale. I'd know that I'd held it in to long." To is spelled with only one o, suggesting that it is the infinitive, the verb: to long. Throughout the whole song, Davey is longing for his friend to rid himself of the non-sXe lifestyle which is clouding his problems.
Posted by: Gab

The interpretation that is already on that song is almost perfect, (as what i think) but The lyric "Familitary now disowned" i think means what he is used to, is no longer there. But another way i look at this song would be Davey is putting himself in the drug users point of view and these lyrics; "Ignored futility fills the air/ your only there to watch me fall.../ if only pure sweetness was offered, why's this bitter taste left in my mouth" cause if you look at it (i get info about drugs from people i know who do them im sXe) people always say that drugs are great there an escape and thats where "if only pure sweetness was offered". Now another reasson i think hes putting himself in this point of view is "your only there to watch me fall" meaning drugs make things worse in the long run and there for hes falling. "If i have to catch my breath just to exhale, I know that I held it in too long" fits the song but I too cannot quite figure that out. Well thats what i think about that song.
Posted by: Kendra